For me , everything changed after the lockdown was lifted. Coming back to school, my socialising skills had already gone down the drain and my marks were not great either. What I had faced was a marks drought. I was not really used to this and felt extremely demotivated, I was trying my hardest but yet not doing very well. My 7th and 8th performance was pretty decent but my 9th standard first termperformance was just not up to the mark. I felt sad and defeated so I decided to take matters into my own hands and I started working on myself. I realised that it was my time management and lack of focus that was holding me down.
I decided to start making a different study schedule for myself everyday. I made sure that during the weekend I always decided to do something I would look forward to, something that kept me going, something that added thrill to my life. I decided to start working out at home as well. What better to do in my free time than working on my body and making sure I'm healthy right? I made a routine for myself and on Saturday evenings I would take my earphones and go on a cycle ride around Bandra. It was my, me time, just listening to my favourite songs while riding around and having a sense of belonging seeing all the other humans around gave comfort to me.
I would then come home and usually enjoy eating my dinner alone as there would be no one in the house. I realised how peaceful this truly was and it would be followed by me watching a movie afterwards. Slowly, but surely as the year went on I saw improvement , not only physically but also mentally. I would feel prepared for a test, I knew my matter, I would not get chills before writing my papers. Getting the academic validation made me happy. At this age, we really do not have much to do other than focus on studies while also removing a little time aside for our friends.
As time went on, I started feeling more confident around people and in groups and made new friends along the way. I was doing better in the aspects I was focusing on and I could see the improvement in me. Although many people just say that people who get good marks are the ones who are ' just like that ' or ' just have it in them ' I started seeing how false that statement was even though there was a time I would agree with it. For me, it was the feeling of embarrassment and shame that made me realise I cannot keep walking on the path where I do not prioritise my studies at this age. I realised that improvement can be made only if we address the problem and work on ourselves. No one is going to do it for us. At the end of day we are alone, we are responsible for our actions and we have to take the consequences of it ourselves.
Although this event may not seem like a thing that is enough to make someone start changing so much, it really was. I am sure that all of us at one point have felt the feeling of embarrassment creeping up on us as we are going to tell someone our marks, that is the feeling I was done with and wanted to get rid of. Now, taking back control of my life , being happy in what I do and the feeling of satisfaction of knowing that I am doing well in the aspects I should be focusing on at this age is something very different, something everyone deserves to feel if they work for it.
This 9th standard first term phase after dreading going to take my report card has taught me a lot and at the end of the day shaped me into a better person. Many teachers and parents lecture us about the same things, but we never try them, well I did and this worked for me. I learnt that there is a way out of the ditch you dig for yourself, we humans can always make a comeback, we humans can always improve.
Student Of Jasudben ML School